as i am looking through my fb newsfeed and seeing all the figure/bb competitors i used to worship and wanna be like a few short years ago posting their food prep tupperware and their dieting memes and progress pix and posing seminars upcoming....all i can think of now is THANK FUCKING GOD I AM NOT IN THAT WORLD ANYMORE!! i actually passed on dating a guy recently mostly cuz he's just entering the competition "cult" life and i don't even wanna be CLOSE to it anymore! LOL not that i am saying these people aren't totally admirable and hardcore...i am just totally over it and happy that i can eat pizza without shame, work out for MYSELF, and do or not do cardio, depending on my mood! i no longer feel like the world will end if i don't get hours of cardio in in a week! (in fact, i rarely do cardio at all right now, but am just starting to do a little here and there again to HOPEFULLY get my butt back again!) i am MUCH happier living life this way! i have a different source of anxiety and pressure now--- a 9 month old baby! haha
i no longer force myself to lift as heavy as my joints can take. i no longer have constant low back pain from pushing my body beyond it's breaking point on a daily basis!! i don't feel like a pussy for doing circuit training routines and getting in and out of the gym in 30-45 min as opposed to killing myself for hours on end and dripping with sweat before i allow myself to leave! i don't worry about every calorie i consume! i find that my obsession with trying to hold myself back from eating actually made me pig out more! it was a never-ending torture routine. SELF -INFLICTED!!!! i rarely pig out anymore. i have no problems just having a bite or two of something and being satisfied! why did i play such head games with myself and sabotage myself for so many agonizing years!?? i feel better and LOOK BETTER now! let's hope this lasts forever now and i never venture back to crazytown! haha
that being said: good luck, competitors! i will be over here, eating sun chips while looking though your contest pix! AND NOT FEEL:ING ONE LICK OF GUILT!
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